Doggy Style, 24

Accompanying mankind on his transition from nomadic to sedintary lifestyles, the dog was the first domesticated animal. Pets have been prevalent from the ancient Egyptians into modern day. Just last week someone in China purchased a Tibetan mastiff puppy for close to a $2 million dollars, considered one of the most expensive pet purchases ever. In the United States nearly 62 percent of all household have a pets, totaling to 84 million dogs and 96 million cats. Over the course of 2013 American's spent cost to $56 billion dollar on their pets. So with this billion dollar industry comes a boatload of bogus belongings. The dog itself is a luxury possession providing you with endless hours of entertainment and infatuated love. Maria Antoinette had a Papillion dog and Louis XIV had a menagerie of animals. Pure breed dogs act as a status symbol, where the Tibetan mastiff was allegedly breed with a lion and has been historically acquainted with nobility, thereby today solidifying its' owner's social ranking. 

Dogs are custom-izable; either by genetically molding the perfect breed or stylizing them with hairdos, clothing, and plastic surgery. Gregg A. Miller invented Neuticles a testicular implants for pets, after sympathizing with his dog Buck's snipped balls. Like Buck, Rocky Kardashian underwent the procedure and then following in his synthetic sister's path, Rocky become the spokes-dog for Neuticles. Neutricles now offers a variety of pet altercations including ear stays, eye implants, ear implants, scar removal, and soon to follow face lifts, tummy tucks, Botox, and teeth straightening/whitening. So with their new found look, your pet can be pampered in five star dog hotels, such as the Paw Seasons where you can easily drop a mere $73K on the resort including a Harrods pet spa, walks on the beach and ice cream, personal chef, yoga, surfing, reiki sessions, followed by a personalized wardrobe, bronze sculpture by Jo Chambers, and a bespoke doghouse replicating your own home.

As you can see, pet's have it all...fake balls, houses bigger than NYC apartments, spas, health insurance, pet psychics, along with an endless array of senseless stuff. First off you may find it difficult to understand your dog's needs, but with the Bow-Lingual dog translator and a dog therapist communication is possible. What you'll learn will be dirty, so stay clean with the Poo Trap a plastic bag device strapped to your dog's butt that automatically collects and bags their doo doo. But if this doesn't work, freeze feces their with the aerosol Poop Freeze spray and then knock it away with the Turd Burglar hockey stick. Obviously their comes a time when you get sick of into your dog's brown eye, well I've found your guy; finally a sticker designed to cover your dog's unsightly asshole Rear Gear Store.com. And just when you were thinking, they'd thought of everything, there's the first sex toy for dogs, Hot Doll allow's your male pup to pounce, doggy style with a silicone plastic prototype. Basically it's the blow up doll for dogs. But what about the bitches? Next up doggy dildos. So when the doghouse is a rockin don't come a knockin.